COUPLES

Couples Therapy

“And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud
                  was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
 Anais Nin

Couples Therapy

I’m glad that you are considering getting some help on your relationship. It may be a little worse for wear due to a lack of attention. A relationship is just like any living entity, in order to thrive it needs attention, love and nourishment. 

Most people assume if a relationship is good, then intimacy is something that you just have as a result. In reality, intimacy does not just arrive as a result of good moments. Actually intimacy operates as a verb. It is something that you do, whether things are going well or not. Intimacy is about how we connect with another when we are sharing in a respectful and loving way. Powerful moments of intimacy can also happen when two people are sharing their most difficult feelings with one another. Most likely you are in therapy to learn how to have better moments of connection when you have difficult issues to work out with your partner. Here’s a list of issues that couples bring to my office.
  • You do not talk about anything but household logistics 
  • You do not have any passion for one another 
  • You have nothing to talk about 
  • You do not communicate respectfully to each other 
  • You do not share your feelings honestly 
  • You do not know how to fight fair 
  • You do not have quality time together as a couple 
  • You are just going through the motions 
  • You are unfaithful  
When you first visit me, we will identify the problems in your relationship and where you each have your own work to do. I’m afraid to say that the problems you are having are not all your partner’s doing. You each bring your own set of issues to the table.  As a couples therapist I will help you:
  • Identify what you want your relationship to be
  • Identify negative patterns in your relationship
  • Communicate respectfully
  • Be accountable for your side of the problem
  • Be solution driven
  • Break down the walls that prevent connection
  • Express your needs appropriately
  • Reestablish intimacy
  • Rekindle love
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